And now......

enjoy my special guest blogger Heather Graham

Star Wars Episode III – Revenge Of The Sith (ROTS)
or ROTted!

First of all, it was suppose to be way better than
episodes 1 & 2… it wasn’t.  (Spoiled Alert).  From the
very beginning, I never felt fear for any of the
characters.  Anakin and Obi Won are in this fierce
space battle, but I never feared that they would die
or be hurt.  It’s like playing Doom on “God Mode,” you
know no one’s going to get hurt.  And even when they
do, it’s not that big a deal.

And if you happen to blink during the movie, you will
miss many important moments that last about 5 seconds
each.  Such as…

The Wookie Planet
Wookies:  Aaaarggghh.
Yoda: Pick me up and put me on your back Chewy.
Wookies:  Arrghh.
The End

Anakin turning to the Darkside:
Anakin:  I believe in doing good.
Palpatine:  Hey, if you turn to the darkside your wife
won’t die.
Anakin:  Um… okay.
The End

Jedi Annihilation:
Jedis:  We are like Space Ninja’s on crack, come fuck
with us!
Palpatine:  Kill the Jedi
Seconds later
Jedi:  Ah, we’re all fucking dead.
The End.

Do you get what I’m saying?  The rest is spent on so
much CGI in the background, that you wonder why they
even bothered with the actors.  And speaking of
acting, Hayden & Natalie both fell waaaay short of
their abilities.  And the chemistry between them was
about as hot as a snowman’s left nut.  No wonder he
kills her in the end, it was a mercy killing.  I wish
he could have choked me to death as well, as I will
not be getting those precious moments of my life back.

The only redeeming things about the movie is Ewan
McGregor (brilliant), Yoda kicking everyone’s ass, and
R2D2 unleashing some robot kick-ass all over the
place. But besides that, I wasn’t impressed.  The 3rd
installment of the Harry Potter series shouldn’t be
better than ROTS, but you know what… it was.  Expecto
Patronum!

Heather Graham

PS – Why does the only black person in the future die?
 Honestly, in every fucking movie… 

Comments

[Carlos]

Though I have a massive migraine while I attempt at writing a lame paper on a 16th century theologian, I have to laugh at this entry. Laughing is quite painful mind you. But alas I am laughing. I felt the same about this installment of the Star Wars saga. I can't remember how many times I wondered when the heck something interesting would happen. I mean come on, I had better story lines as kid when I played with my action figures. Anyway back to my boring paper.

[Heather Graham]

I still stand by my review, the 3rd movie could have been better. It's not so much that it was bad, but that it was as "good" as the first 2 prequels. And I use the term "good" loosely.

Muah!

HG

[Greg Jordan]

To wit I have to alert all to the Strawberry Field(s) incident. (click link in link) Horrible, especially in light of the advent of Live 8! My point? Bad mass marketing=more dollars wasted. I'ma Star Wars fan too... this is just a bad passing of the times I suppose.

[Ethan]

I have to agree....the acting was absolutely horrible. I just could not stop thinking how many 'younglings" were being specially trained by Hayden!!

[Tim1965]

"Sith" has the "Apollo 13" problem: You know how it's going to turn out, so Lucas has to make you care about the people and their drama.

Only... Lucas spent two movies making me loathe these people. Making me not care one goddamn bit about Anakin's whining, Padme's human doormat-ism, Obi-wan's blandness, Mace Windu's do-nothing suspiciousness, etc. Lucas dug the hole, and now wants Tom Stoppard to help him out of it? Sorry, even Stoppard can't save what died way back in "Jedi."

Otherwise, I thought it was fun for the eyes. And poor Hayden Christensen can still marry me, despite his only good scene being his *ahem* trial by fire.

[River]

Thanks for visiting my blog ;)))
guess u speak Italian !

kisses

[Colby]

I thought the movie was great.I mean hey who didnt see the ending coming b4 the 2 1/2 hours were up? I mean the movie could have been worse? *** Starts coughing** "Dukes of Hazzard*** Coughing Ends (smile)

Colby

[Paul]

P.S. Corey, for goodness sake, write your own blogs!

[Paul]

Come on, Heather--don't be so hard on Lucas. It's great entertainment. There must be something more redeeming than "Aaarrggg."

[Chris Kay]

Hehe. :)

Yeah, it was a bit disappointing. Especially that final struggle between Obi Wan and Anakin/Vader when the latter eventually is just lying there _next_ to a lava stream and his feet slowly catch fire. That was pathetic.

Padme by the way wasn't killed by Anakin when he choked her. I believe she died from giving birth to Luke and Lea, and because of a general unwillingness to live on.

Anyways, good rant.

*waves at Corey*